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These Ohio Stereotypes Are Hilarious And Absolutely True

Ohio. The heart of it all, or so they say.

But let’s face it, around here, we’re more the appendix of the U.S. — easily forgotten and occasionally inflamed. As a lifelong Ohioan, I’ve come to embrace the quirks, the oddities, and yes, even the stereotypes that seem to define our existence between the cornfields and the manufacturing plants. Here’s a look at some of our most cherished stereotypes, why there’s a kernel (or ear) of truth to them, and why we can’t help but laugh.

We Live on Corn

Field of corn in Dublin, Ohio
via Dublin Arts Council Facebook

It’s not a stereotype if it’s true, right? Corn is to Ohio what sunshine is to California. It’s everywhere. We grow it, we eat it, we make art inspired by it, we even have mazes out of it for fun. Because nothing says “entertainment” like getting lost in a field of one of our primary agricultural exports.

Football Isn’t Just a Sport; It’s a Religion

exterior of the pro football hall of fame
Pro Football Hall of Fame, via Pro Football Hall of Fame (Facebook)

In Ohio, football is second only to breathing. From the pee-wee leagues to the NFL, if you’re not part of the football frenzy, you’re practically committing heresy. We even have an entire museum dedicated to professional football. Friday nights are for high school games, Saturdays are for the Buckeyes, and Sundays are for praying at the altar of the Cleveland Browns or Cincinnati Bengals — and yes, eternal optimism is a required part of the faith.

We Have Two Seasons: Winter and Construction

ohio winter meme
The first snowflake falls, and Ohio transforms into a wintry wonderland that would give Narnia a run for its money. Then the freezing rain comes. Then, when the thaw comes, it’s time for our other season: construction. Why visit the Great Wall of China when you can experience the Great Cones of Ohio?

We Measure Distance in Time, Not Miles

meme about time vs. distance
Asking an Ohioan how far something is might get you an answer like, “Oh, about 30 minutes,” rather than “22 miles.” Why? Because with our unpredictable weather and aforementioned construction season, time is the only reliable measure.

Our Accent? What Accent?

We Ohioans are convinced we speak the purest form of American English. It’s everyone else who has an accent. Though, to be fair, we do have a penchant for flattening our vowels and turning a simple greeting into a drawn-out “heeyyy.”

We’re Obsessed with Weather

If you don’t like the weather in Ohio, just wait five minutes — it’ll change. Our local meteorologists are local celebrities, and we’ve all become amateur weather forecasters by necessity. Carrying an umbrella and sunglasses at all times is just common sense.

Everyone Knows Someone Who Went to THE Ohio State University

Ohio stadium full of fans
It’s not just a university; it’s an empire. And the “THE” is crucial. You can’t swing a bag of Buckeyes without hitting someone who works, studies, or lives and breathes all things OSU.

Our State Flower is the Construction Barrel

construction meme
via Pinterest

Officially, it’s a carnation, but you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise. The bright orange barrels dot our landscape with such regularity they might as well be considered a native species.

We Claim Astronauts Because Space is the Only Way Out

ohio astronaut meme
Neil Armstrong, John Glenn… Ohio has a habit of producing people who leave Earth entirely. Can you blame them? When you’ve grown up in a place where fields outnumber people, shooting for the stars seems like a reasonable career path.

Our Loyalty to Hometown Brands is Unshakeable

Wendy’s, Donatos, White Castle, Skyline Chili — if it started in Ohio, we’re eating it. And we’ll defend it to our last breath, even if it means getting into a heated debate over fast food. We all collectively agree that there’s nothing that inspires more nostalgia than the sunroom at Wendy’s.

We’re Unapologetically Midwestern

ohio ope memes
Yes, we say “ope” when we bump into someone, and yes, we’ll hold the door open for you even if you’re uncomfortably far away. It’s just how we roll.

At the end of the day, being an Ohioan means having a sense of humor about where you come from. We might be the butt of jokes, but we’re in on them, too. Because in Ohio, we know that life is a little bit corny, sometimes unpredictable, but always full of heart. And hey, if you don’t like it, just wait five minutes.