Okay, Columbus. We need to talk about the very specific and very bizarre crime spree currently unfolding in Clintonville.
Someone, and we say this with complete sincerity, keeps sneaking up to the front door of Eclectiques Antique Mall in the dead of night and dumping cooking grease all over it.
Yes. Grease. Like, fry-a-batch-of-wings level grease. On the door. Repeatedly.
This isn’t a one-time prank or some slip-n-slide gone wrong. It’s happened three times now, and the good folks at Eclectiques have had enough. They’re asking for the neighborhood’s help in catching the Midnight Oil Vandal (name pending, but we’re workshopping it).
Here’s the tea, or rather, the grease:
- January 14, around 4:45–5:30 a.m.
- February 26, around 2:00–3:00 a.m.
- May 29, around 1:00–2:00 a.m.
Each time, someone dressed in “I’d-like-to-blend-in” nighttime athleisure shows up, drenches the door in used cooking oil, and vanishes back into the early-morning shadows like the world’s greasiest Batman. You can watch for yourself in the video below.
Why?
No one knows. Honestly, this has the vibe of a deeply niche vendetta or the weirdest anti-antique protest in central Ohio history. (“Down with vintage glassware!”)
But Eclectiques isn’t just letting it slide — er, drip. They’re asking anyone with security cameras in the High Street area between Como, Longview, Brighton, and Lakeview to check footage from those dates and times. Got a grainy image of someone schlepping a grease bucket down the street at 2AM? That could be the missing puzzle piece.
In the meantime, the Eclectiques crew is keeping their sense of humor intact, continuing to run one of the city’s best-curated antique shops while also playing amateur detective.
If you’ve got tips, footage, or just a good theory on what in the Crisco is going on, reach out to them via social or drop by in person (preferably during daylight and sans grease).
